Checklist Episode 2
Checklist
Episode 2
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I began to wonder if Adam was happy with our life. He certainly never complained that we were becoming dull. Maybe it was just me! I knew as soon as I thought about him that I still loved him as deeply as ever. I just felt that perhaps he may not feel the same for me. Could he be bored, and just afraid to tell me he had had enough? On and on these thoughts swirled around in my head. Is it me? Is it him? Have we stopped trying? |
I had tried to talk to Adam but I was clumsy in my approach, amd more often than not we would end up rowing over something entirely different. Somehow I could not bear to face up to the issue and just ask " Do you want us to split up? Are we finished?" So we would argue over who should have washed up after breakfast!
Sam gave me the idea for tonight’s exercise. She must have been sick of my face always being as long as a fiddle at work all day, and had asked what my problem was. How foolish I felt telling her I was not sure if anything was a problem apart from my active imagination! I explained our home situation, and was secretly pleased when she told me she thought there could be an issue to face.
"You’ve got so bogged down in other things that you just don’t see each other any more eh?" she said with authority.
"Well I think so. But maybe Adam is happy enough just as we are"
"Not if he sees that a fiddle of a face of yours as much as I do! Maybe he’s afraid of asking why you’re not happy? Why don’t you try this exercise Steve and I did when we were going through a really bad time a couple of years ago ……. It makes you focus on each other ……."
When Sam explained it to me I was convinced it was what we needed, and I arrived home ready to ask Adam to do the task straight with me right away.
So, here we are, two sheets of paper each, one headed LIKES and the other one DISLIKES.
"You just write down 10 things you like about me, and 10 you dislike" I explained to a more dubious Adam.
"And then?" came the reply.
"Maybe we can find things we are doing or not doing that bug each other. Then we can work on being better partners by trying not to bug each other." I tried to sound convinced of its success.
He shrugged and took the pen from my outstretched hand.
"Can we just try?" I pleaded, and he came to sit at the dining table with me.
Now, I still sat here doing my first list, and Adam had either not bothered doing his, or knew the likes and dislikes so well that he had not had to think very long. This was not encouraging.
The kitchen door opened and he came in carrying two cups of coffee. I looked up from my list and smiled. He really was so sweet at times. He flopped into the seat opposite me and brushed back that stray strand of black hair that always insisted in falling across his left eye. I loved it!
"Done?" he asked softly.
"No. But you seem to be" I replied as I wrapped both hands around my coffee cup.
"This ……. ‘thingy’ we’ve just done ……. or at least, I’ve done" he started, "do we have to be really honest for this to work?"
"Yep. That’s why I’ve done so much I suppose. I have tried to explain why I like or dislike things"
"Here, have mine. I can’t sit here waiting for you to finish" and he slid a single folded sheet of paper across the table to me, rose from his chair, and walked into the lounge.
"I’ll be in here if you want me for anything" he whispered as he passed behind my chair and went to sit on the sofa.
I picked up his piece of paper, and glanced at the heavy tome that was materialising in front of me! My hands were shaking as I unfolded the paper and began to read:
LIKES
You make my heart sing.
DISLIKES
You don’t always remember that you make my heart sing
XXX
Tears pricked and rose in my eyes.Tearing up my list of ‘likes’ I stood and crossed into the lounge to sit beside him on the sofa.