Pastures new

A child’s perspective of the first day at school.

 

"So, what did you learn today dear?"

"That Jimmy Cousins is fat,

and Luke can do ‘armpit farts’

and Melinda has a new cat".

 

"But what did you learn in lessons dear?"

"That that plus that is a sum

and Jake eats yellow crayons

and those chairs hurt my bum".

 

"And what did you do at playtime?"

"I got all grass on my shirt,

and I kicked a ball at the window,

and I saw up Sarah’s skirt!"

 

"How did you like your lunch dear?"

"We had juice, and apple stew.

Daniel only got a sandwich.

My dinner-plate was blue."

 

"Did you do PE today dear?"

"Yes, and I wore my pumps.

We got changed in the cloakrooms

where Joe says it smells of trumps!"

 

"Did you have a school assembly,dear?"

"We sat in the hall, on the floor.

Peter peed in his trousers,

and I was told to sit still by Miss Shaw."

 

"So you had a good at school,

and quite enjoyed it, then?"

"Yes, I went and saw it.

But I’m not going back again!"

 

 

Cecilia Brabin

With special thanks to my Mum, who gave me the story!

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