Playground Games
The morning was bitterly cold, and she pulled the collar of her long black coat tighter, trying to exclude the bitter wind from every part of her.As she stepped briskly through the park, their words rang in her ears……searching, prying, probing questions that they had no right to ask her.
"Foolish, foolish women," she whispered aloud. "As if I would tell them anything, ever!" It was all a part of what she called ‘playground games’. All that standing around in school playgrounds, in all weathers….mothers thrown together with nothing more in common than the fact they had to be in that place twice a day. It made some people long for excitement to break the monotony of school run after school run.
Well, they were not going to use her private business as a means of brightening up their dull lives!
She crossed the football pitch and headed toward the rose gardens. The roses had finished blooming for the season, but they were her favourite flower and this was her favourite spot in the park. A garden of roses attracted her like a moth to light. Most of the Summer she spent time here.
Now, the Winter had cast a new spell on the plants, the pruned stems wore a coat of white, sparkling frost. The benches positioned around the garden would be coated with it, too, she thought. Still, her coat was thick, she wouldn’t feel the cold. Besides, he never kept her waiting for long, and then they would walk…..hand in hand, warming each other just by being close.
She selected a bench, sat down, and played through in her mind, once again, the nerve of those women questioning her activities outside the school playground. What possible business of theirs was it?
Anyhow, it was utterly ridiculous to even think that she would consider a relationship with anybody who had children at the school! How could you ever hope to keep it hidden? Besides, he is married….
They had met by chance on the walk to school, and struck up a conversation. It should be no surprise to anyone that they met again and again. They both used the same route to school at the same time. Why would they not meet? They had to be in the same place at the same time after all. And on the walk back from dropping off the children why should they not walk together?
She laughed aloud. How could anyone find anything suspicious in that scenario?
A ray of weak winter sun pierced the cloud and shone onto the frost that coated the arm of the bench. She watched as, gradually, the warmth of the sun melted away the frost. Just like relationships, she thought. So fragile. Put them into a spotlight and nothing is hidden. However hard you try to shrink back into the shadows, the light reaches you and melts away a little of the facade, exposing what is really underneath.She swiped a gloved hand over the rest of the frost. Why suffer slowly? The sun would get it eventually. It was better to end it quickly. Just like gossip……stop it to prevent a slow and painful ‘eating away’.
They had been for coffee a few times, she recalled, but only because they both needed to go into the town after dropping the children at school. There was nothing more to it than that. "I need a coffee before I start the retail madness" she had said to him, "Fancy joining me?" And he had. But it hadn’t been anything more. Now, she suddenly realised, someone had obviously observed that innocent activity. Someone had been watching them! How pathetic. Had they nothing else to do? She could not see how, having seen two people having coffee together a few times, you could surmise that they also went to bed together. Ridiculous!
She checked her watch. He was later than normal. Yes, he should have been here five minutes ago. She was beginning to feel the cold. Still, she shouldn’t need to keep a timer on him. One thing she knew for sure – he would come.
The sun had broken through the cloud, and she closed her eyes and brought up her face to it’s golden orb, drinking in the soft warmth of the weak rays. Wait a moment!
If people were watching her in the town, had they also seen her here? Maybe they were so ridiculously sad that they followed her here each morning she came. Her eyes sprang open – now, that would NOT be good. Perhaps they should meet elsewhere from now on? Perhaps they could arrive at the flat separately? But then, she enjoyed their walk to the station and then the train to the flat as much as she enjoyed their time together once inside…… Still, if people were really watching her, perhaps she would be better giving all that up for a while. They could meet at the flat until all the gossip and fuss died down.
"My god" she thought, "Peter Stanwyck is 46 if he’s a day! He has two sons and a daughter. Imagine if word of our alleged affair went beyond the school playground? It could ruin his whole family. Don’t these silly people even consider the ramifications?" she wondered.
Where was he? Who or what had held him up? There would be less time together if he didn’t get here soon.
She gazed about her. Were they watching her now? Not a soul around. If anyone were watching, then they were well hidden. Perhaps, after so many months of watching her they knew just what she would be doing at this time, and there was little need to stand shivering in the park observing her…….. No! This was paranoia. These silly women at school had given her a complex now. Their foolish playground games had unsettled her. She could not let that happen. In fact, she realised, there was a very good reason for her not to confirm or deny what they thought. She had said nothing this morning when challenged, and she would continue to say nothing. This morning she had laughed, and that would be all they would get from her today or any other day on which they wished to probe into her life. Besides, she figured, word would soon reach Peter Stanwyck’s ear and he could deny it for them both. It would mean he would make alternative arrangements for the school run, she thought. Yes, a different route or earlier departure time……So be it. She would not change anything. She would miss their chats and occasional coffees, but she was not going to change anything else. Everything else was going wonderfully.
The cold was beginning to bite now. She had been sitting for too long. She stamped her feet in an attempt to warm them, and then rose from the bench, rubbing and clapping her hands together.
Now she could see why he was late……..He strode across the park towards her carrying a substantial bunch of blood-red roses.
"For me?" she called out.
"Who else?" and he covered the distance between them in a semi-run. They kissed lingeringly, and she thought of the possible observer, and the school playground game-players. Peter Stanwyck! …..Peter Stanwyck! What did she want with him, a 46 year old father of three, when she had Martin – gorgeous, single, wealthy, healthy Martin, her wonderful lover, and soul-mate?
She grasped his hand in hers and set off across the park knowing that a part of her hoped there WAS an observer here, watching… "Take THIS to the playground" she whispered into the cold, crisp air.